Nothing to Lose

It is often our fear of losing a relationship that keeps us from having an honest relationship. We fear that speaking our truth, saying how we feel, or asking for what we need will cause the other to withdraw their love or friendship. It is only when the dynamics of a relationship get to a breaking point that we are more comfortable being honest. We feel less resistance because we’ve got nothing to lose.

There is significance in this language of “nothing to lose.” It's a common phrase, but it really speaks to a deeper phenomenon that when we feel like we've got nothing to lose we feel more freedom to be who we really are and say what we really mean. “I've got nothing to lose” means I have nothing to lose. I feel no threat in saying what I feared to say, or doing what I feared to do. I lack nothing. I feel whole.

It's only when we are okay losing a relationship that we act in ways that might actually save it. It gives us courage to be truthful. Rather than from recklessness or resentment, we take this step from a spiritual wholeness, which says I am enough, I have everything I need, and therefore have nothing to lose. Then we feel worthy to speak our truth regardless of where it leads. And when we communicate our truth from this place of wholeness, from our Adult in connection to God and our Inner Child, it is more likely that what we say or do will help to mend the relationship—the opposite of what we feared would happen.