Return to Eden
God, I am ready to face the darkness that comes before light, the pain that comes before relief, the fear that comes before trust. I am ready to be who I am and let go of who I am not.
In the center, we can say these things and mean them, for they are true. But away from our center, we forget who we are and where our needs are met. Facing our fears often means reaffirming our commitment to loving ourselves in the wilderness, where our faith in God and the Way is shakable. Trust is not built in the promised land but in the desert; it is our return to Eden; the Prodigal Son's return. These three biblical stories that tell of the same predicament.
In the first story, The Garden of Eden, our exile is assumed to be God's decision and our way back is impossible. How can we redeem ourselves from “sin” and our “sinful” nature? In the second, Exodus, God aids us in our journey, but warns us against regression, reminding us that the Promised Land is our birthright, but only when we are ready to give up what enslaves us. And in the third, The Prodigal Son, Jesus tells us that the kingdom of God's love is here and now, with reminders that we cannot easily experience it unless we are ready to give up the material desires of this world.
All the stories and teachings of the bible are about how easily tempted we are by the things of this world and how choosing such things keeps us in exile. But we also learn that God's love is boundless. In order to return to the Love, we must be willing to face what is uncomfortable for the promise of eternal life (i.e., inner peace and joy). If we cannot face what is in front of us (i.e., our experience) and cannot meet it with openness and compassion, then we cannot live our lives awake. Our life is happening in this moment. It may be pain, it may feel overwhelming, it may feel sad, regardless of whether such feelings are direct responses to what is happening or our interpretations of it. The why does not matter as much as the choice to be present to it.
We are always here in the Garden, but we must choose to be here. We may believe we are exiled, but it is not so. That is only a dream; and when we awake, we’ll realize we are still there and have never left.
